At 6:45 am sharp the alarm began to ring signalling the beginning of new day. Mark reached over to the alarm clock to stop the invasive of sound giving light to consciousness and reminding him that he no longer had to be up at this hour for any particular reason anymore. Although he had been unemployed for a few months, there was still an innate need to rise at 6:45 am. For some reason, it felt right to be up when the rest of the city was up and getting ready for the work day. Mark sat up stretched and realized that he was alone. Cathy, who usually slept another 15 minutes before getting up to wake the kids for school was already up and in the shower. It took a few seconds of shaking off the grogginess for Mark to recount the events of the previous day. It was all coming back to him slowly. Cathy had been laid off from her job. After 15 years in Human Resources for a very large I.T. firm, she had been downsized. It was just last year that she had received her promotion as head of the HR department. After much discussion, they had decided it was a good idea for her to upgrade her diploma to a degree. With a degree in hand, opportunities for growth in her firm would be available to her. Her manager had encouraged her to make that kind of commitment to her future with the company and in return the company would create a position for her to become Manager of Human Resources. In addition she would receive two weeks more for yearly vacations and a 5% salary increase after 6 months in her new role. It seemed like a “win win” situation for everyone. They were pleased with her past performance and she felt that she had found a job that she could grow into.
This had not been an easy decision for them to make as a family. Education was expensive and for it to work, they had made sacrifices like pulling money out of their retirement savings, budgeting all of their expenses each month down to the wire, giving up the yearly family vacation just to make sure that money for her degree program would be there. She had taken night courses and then a leave from work for three months to fast track so she could complete the program. It hardly seemed worth it now when only 1 year after her promotion she was being downsized. Mark was beginning to resent that word “downsized”. The state of the economy was like a disease that just could not be cured. Where had they gone wrong? They had paid attention and they had planned for their future and now both of them had no employment to speak of. Mark headed to the kitchen to prepare himself a much needed cup of coffee. He felt numb and on the verge of being sick, although he couldn’t really identify what his symptoms were. Cathy walked into the kitchen behind him, dressed in her gray suit with her briefcase in hand. He glanced at her with confusion. “I’m off to see a head hunter she announced”. The kids are dressed. Do you think you can take care of breakfast this morning and get them off to school? Sure, he said, still a bit confused as to what had changed since the day before when she announced that she no longer held employment. She had talked about taking a couple of weeks just to wrap her head around all this but now here she was dressed and ready for an active job search. “Do you have an interview” he asked with a bit of trepidation. “No” she replied. “But I decided that I should start looking for work right away”. Mark knew his wife well. Jumping into a job search was her way of skipping over the “grief” of job loss. “I figure” she continued “that if I get myself out there, right away, it won’t take long to secure a position, I mean I have over 15yrs of experience and a degree, how hard could it be for someone with my qualifications to secure another job?” Sure, he said hoping he sounded confident as she did, although he didn’t think he sounded very convincing. He had also learned over the years that his wife was very proud of her accomplishments. The idea of being out of work, or the fear of not being able to contribute to the family’s needs frightened her to the core. She had to do something, because for her not having the stability of income and benefits meant that they would sink to the bottom of the ocean. Cathy was not good at risk taking at all. She planned for everything, always making sure she was charting their progress towards their goals. He was a bit more relaxed when it came to changes regardless of how unpredictable they could be. He didn’t mind not always knowing what would happen next. The not knowing at times pushed and motivated him. He didn’t feel a need to have that kind of security all the time and often when he had it he became bored with it. Although he was concerned that they had both been laid off, he saw this as an opportunity to explore their options. For him, this meant a chance to see what else was out there for him besides the typical 9 to 5 that most of society was condition to rely on for stability. “Mark, are you listening to me” Cathy said with impatience. “I don’t want the kids to be late for school”. “They won’t be”, he replied cooly. “Besides, I’m just about ready to head to my appointment with the Franchise Consultant I’ve been working with, I’ll take them to school on my way”. The “franchise consultant” she repeated slowly. Are you still considering self-employment? I mean, do you think it’s such a good idea now that I’ve been…I mean, don’t you think our priority should be both of us finding work. Mark, I know you’ve always dreamed of owning a business but I don’t think it’s a good idea now. “Why not?” he said, more sharply than he meant to sound. We have savings Cathy, our family will not fall apart tomorrow, just because we’ve had a bit of bad luck. We are not the only ones in this city, this country rather that have lost their jobs. Why don’t we take a couple of weeks and just figure out what is best for us to do. “We’ve always talked about doing something for ourselves; why not try to make it happen now”. “Yes, sure, I would love to own my own business” now her voice indicated that not only was she frustrated with him but bordering on angry as well. “So let’s just do that then. Let’s just take everything we’ve worked so hard for and throw it into a franchise that we have no idea how to run, or if we can make any money from”. We have children, and a mortgage. “Do you really think it’s a good time for us to explore the dreams of our youth? Mark looked away not wanting to hear anymore. “We were in University then Mark”, and this time her voice sounded a bit softer, now we are adults with real responsibilities, now isn’t the time to dream about owning our own business, especially in an economy that isn’t doing well”. “Look, I’ve got to go” she said as if the decision had been made without his consent. She straightened her suit and glanced quickly in the mirror to make sure her hair was in place before she opened the door and let it close abruptly behind her. Mark felt deflated as he began to make breakfast. Maybe she was right he thought. Maybe this was not the time to make such a drastic change. He had to be realistic about things and starting over with a business he wasn’t even sure he could run would be a huge risk in this economy. He was a risk taker but was this risk worth it? That was the question he couldn’t answer and somewhere between his desire to try something new and Cathy’s words he was no longer sure.
